Adultery

We live in a culture where sexual immorality is glorified and promoted.  Pornography and tabloids are billion dollar industries.  Our culture showers money and fame upon those who expose their bodies, violate their marriage vows, and flaunt their promiscuity.  Sexuality and infidelity have so permeated our culture that they are now the subject of prime time TV shows, news, and all but required of all celebrities.

In addition, the family in America has been torn apart.  More than half of all marriages end in divorce, and even more have had to deal with adultery.  Pornography has trapped millions of fathers and threatens our children.  Sexual addiction, perversion, and child endangerment are daily realities.  And so many people are lonely and lost, the victims of broken relationships and a society where the standard for love is “what can I get for me” rather than how to love and be committed to another person.

But the Bible shows that God has a very clear standard for marriage.  Monogamy and commitment are the requirements.  God takes this very seriously.

“You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14)

“So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished” (Proverbs 6:29)

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

“But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32)

God is so concerned with this sin of adultery that one of the ten commandments is to avoid it. Additionally, chapters 5, 6, and 7 of the book of Proverbs deal extensively with avoiding lust and adultery.  If God has placed so much attention on this subject, we would do well to follow God’s commands.

Beyond the actual act of adultery, God is just as concerned with the condition of our hearts and thoughts. Jesus taught that thoughts of lust toward another is considered equal to adultery in God’s eyes.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

It is clear from God’s word that God judges both our actions and our thoughts.  Throughout Scripture, God counsels us to avoid giving in to lust and desire for any person other than our spouse.

“Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.” (Proverbs 7:24-27)

“The mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit; a man who is under the LORD’s wrath falls into it.” (Proverbs 22:14)

“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” (Proverbs 6:25)

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

“But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.”  (Proverbs 6:32)

God’s counsel on lust and sexual matters also extends to how we present ourselves.  God’s standard is that we would not only keep ourselves free from lust, but also avoid leading others astray by our dress or our actions.

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion” (Proverbs 11:22)

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

“Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.” (Proverbs 7:10)

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea” (Mark 9:42)

Our thoughts and actions in relation to sexuality are a reflection of our character.  As believers in Christ, God calls us to a higher standard than the rest of the world.  It is a privilege to honor God with our bodies by obeying His commands.  Since we are united with Christ and have received God’s grace, God requires that we do not give in to the temptations of our flesh.

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” (Ephesians 5:3)

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming” (Colossians 3:5-6)

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:16)

Be clear that God’s standards are high.  They include thoughts and actions.  Lust equals adultery. Therefore, from God’s view, many “innocent” things constitute adultery.  This includes pornography, strip clubs, TV shows, images on the computer.  This includes jokes, innuendos, celebrities, tabloids.  This also includes the second glance at a member of the opposite sex, the casual flirtation with someone other than your spouse, the extra attention to a co-worker or someone at the gym.  This includes how you dress and how you view others.

God gives us specific instructions on how to avoid sexual immorality.  Whether it be a pornography addiction, an inappropriate relationship, or images presented on magazines and television, God can help you avoid sexual sin.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” (Galatians 5:16-17)

“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30)

God presents important instructions for overcoming sexual sin.  First is to completely avoid the source of our temptation.  When God says to flee or to remove a part of the body, God is directing us to amputate the source of temptation from our lives.  This means to get rid of all access to inappropriate images. This may mean to end a tempting relationship.  It may require great sacrifice or change, but resolving to follow God and avoid sin is worth it and God will honor your faithfulness.

Second, God asks us to turn to Him. We cannot overcome sin in our own power.  But by calling on God, admitting our own weakness, and asking for His help, God will give us the needed strength and resources to win our battle.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

Sexual sin is one of the most damaging forces we encounter in life.  It breaks our relationship with God, and unresolved, will lead to our eternal damnation.  Lust and adultery destroy marriages and relationships, hurt children, damage our minds, hearts and souls.  Many caught in sexual sin have lost their finances, their jobs, their churches, their friends and even their freedom.

If you are caught in any form of sexual sin – pornography, strip clubs, adultery, inappropriate images or relationships, flirtation, victimization, abuse – we encourage you to get help.  Your very soul is at stake.

We encourage you to seek the help of your pastor and church, or a qualified Christian counselor if needed. Additionally, Setting Captives Free is a free online resource that presents the truth of God’s word as it relates to sexual sin.  Setting Captives Free has been highly successful at helping people overcome habitual sin.

Additionally, Safe Eyes Internet Safety software is a great tool to protect you and your family from dangerous sexual content on the internet.  We highly recommended exploring it to see if it is right for your family.

May God bless you as you turn to Him to protect you from sexual sin!

Every Man’s Battle with Workbook: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time By Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker / Random House, Inc Today’s media bombards men with sexual images and temptation, so it’s no wonder that “sexual addiction” is on the rise—even within the church. In this compassionate brother-to-brother guide, Arterburn and Stoeker tackle this serious problem head-on, offering a practical battle plan for men—married or single—who desire to live by God’s standard. Includes workbook. 368 pages, softcover from Waterbrook.

Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity By Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. & Jean Coppock Staeheli / Free Press Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control By Elisabeth Elliot / Baker Very few books on dating have stood the test of time like Passion and Purity. Using her own life as an example, beloved author and speaker Elisabeth Elliot guides singles of both genders and any age on how to put their love lives under the authority of Jesus Christ.

Fireproof, Special Collector’s Edition DVD Fireproof, the latest film from the creators of Facing the Giants and Flywheel, is now available on DVD! Starring Kirk Cameron, the Fireproof movie portrays the inspiring love story of a firefighter, his wife, and a marriage worth rescuing. At work, Capt. Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) lives by the old firefighter’s adage: “Never leave your partner behind“. At home, he lives by his own rules. His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt has to face his toughest job ever, rescuing his wife’s heart. Rated PG. Approx. 119 minutes.